TWICE IN ONE DAY!!!! WHAT????

[meesasometimes]

I was just telling big_heart_june about my tattoo story and it occurred to me that I should post this here.

ALTHOUGH, I am just a bit crazy and a bit stupid crazy about Dean, I'm not as obsessed as it may seem.
When I was 28 I had Hodgkins Lymphoma and it sucked, alot. I had a 4 yr. son to take care of, no insurance,
and it sucked. ALOT. Anyhoo, after surgery, & 8 rounds of chemo, that left me bald and extremely ill (as I didn't have 
the means to get any anti-nausea meds) I promptly quit against my doctors wishes and switched to months
of radiation. I've had no recurrances and I airquote here, "I am fine" (because poison and radiation in no
way leave you fine ever again). But it's 15 years later and I'm alive and I've got to watch my son grow up
which is all I really was hoping for. The rest now is just bonus time as far as I'm concerned.

SO that stuff is stuff I don't talk alot about, I'm not a proud "survivor", and I don't wanna run in your race for 
the cure. I'm bitter and it SUCKED. And I live my life with it and i don't want anymore reminders. It was 
something that I suffered thru and barely made it past,  it changed who I am as a person and not all in good ways.
 
(It's possible I need some therapy)

Anyway, the end result is a heart murmur, a messed up thyroid, and a shit ton of scar tissue around my 
heart and in my chest and neck on the left side. I had alot of pain there and I still do. After 10 years of it
I had a brilliant idea of starting to tattoo the right side of my body, just to try and refocus my brain away
from the right side and the real and imaginary pain there.

I always liked tattoo sleeves, my mother is gone now so I don't have her disapproving glare, I only have me
to please and delight with it. AND so it is. THere is nothing that delights me more or could possibly be
more mentally distracting to me than Dean Winchester. Am I right or am I right? So after running it by my
girlfriend (How do you feel about having a seriously inked up wife?) and my son (who is the most
ultra-conservative 17 yr old ever and is appalled but resigned to it and thinks I am entirly too old and washed
up to be getting tattoos) I started this endevor. 

So this tattoo, even more than the last, is so much more about me than Dean. I know you'll all understand.

Now let's never talk of this again. LOL

Thank you to any of my flist who is reading this, I really love you all!

Comments

[the_rant_girl]

HONEY! *smishes and squishes and clings to you fiercely* love you BB! And you're totally right, there has never been more rightness hee! Did I mention wanting to lick your arm? LOL *smooches* thank you for sharing sweetie. ♥!!

[meesasometimes.livejournal.com]

first of all, perfect icon is perfect....*wipes tear* the scooby gang, guh, I love them.

If you never lick my arm I will now be disappointed ;P LOL!

<3333 love you and thank you for supporting my crazy. I need lots of enablers.

[big-heart-june.livejournal.com]

I'm so fucking proud of you darling and my love for you is ENDLESS. You barely made it but you DID and you're strong and gorgeous and awesome AND I do LOVE me an inked up woman! :P too bad you're taken! lol :P

THere is nothing that delights me more or could possibly be
more mentally distracting to me than Dean Winchester. Am I right or am I right?
SO FUCKING RIGHT. ♥

My girl is so much like Abe, she's totally hip and open-minded and will do almost anything for me, we're as tight as can be as there's only ever really been the two of us, BUT she absolutely shudders at the thought of me getting a tattoo..it makes me sad.

I REALLY FUCKING LOVE YOUR TATTOO. DEEEEEEEEEEEAN. and YOU. ♥
Oh and I'm def with the gorgeous rantgirl, I'd sooooo lick your arm too! :P

[meesasometimes.livejournal.com]

LICKS for everyone!!!! LOL!

I do LOVE me an inked up woman! :P too bad you're taken! lol :P

Oh Junie, we'd never get anything done, we'd just lay around in bed all day having kinky sexcapades, drooling over Dean and arguing over whose turn it was to play the puppy/pony...lol...wait a minute, WHY aren't we doing that? *G*lol...(remember, the MY tail got all caught up and YOU lost the handcuff key? It's definately your turn!)

BUT she absolutely shudders at the thought of me getting a tattoo..it makes me sad.

what is wrong with kids these days?*heehee* when Abe turned 17 I told him I'd take him out for a tattoo (I really wouldn't have) and of course he was like yeah right, and I said "Where have I gone wrong as a Mother?" LOL...he's just, you realize how wrong this is right? I guess he rebels
against his "alternative" family by being so straight-laced.

LOVE TO YOU!!! LOTS OF IT!

[big-heart-june.livejournal.com]

Oh Junie, we'd never get anything done, we'd just lay around in bed all day having kinky sexcapades, drooling over Dean and arguing over whose turn it was to play the puppy/pony...lol...wait a minute, WHY aren't we doing that? *G*

My bags are packed and I'm on the way to the airport. See you tomorrow! :P

[meesasometimes.livejournal.com]

I'll be naked under a trench coat and waiting at the terminal...no need to waste a perfectly long taxi ride!

lmao...the wifey can run the video feed.

[big-heart-june.livejournal.com]

Good thinking. I def approve. Mmmmmm! :D Don't forget the tail plug. lmao :P

Wifey is more than welcome to join! :P

[applegeuse.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds unimaginably harrowing to experience, but I'm really glad you made it through to where you are today, even though not everything is perfect health-wise. ♥ ♥

Your new tattoo looks awesome! (And your new dog is absolutely adorable, too! :D )

Also, I think you should get some fake/temporary tattoos that are ridiculously embarrassing just to tease your son. XD

[meesasometimes.livejournal.com]

I don't recommend cancer as a character building excise...it's highly over-rated :)

I am in love with this tattoo, it works like a charm...and the puppy does his fair share as well. Those I do recommend.

Also, I think you should get some fake/temporary tattoos that are ridiculously embarrassing just to tease your son. XD

HAH!!! I'm going to look for some!

[philomel.livejournal.com]

That's a wonderful reason for the tattoo... for being tattooed in general. <3 I'm glad you made it through your experience, wish the other problems weren't there, but am glad you're still here and making something positive out of a horrible time through kickass body art.

[meesasometimes.livejournal.com]

kissass body art FTW!!!! It feels really liberating to feel on borrowed time, things like tattoos seem so less permanent...I'm lucky (ish) and I'm glad to be reminded of that at least :)

[patcheye.livejournal.com]

Marianne! Thanks for sharing your story, you know you didn't have to. :)

I am certainly older than your boy, but you can tell him that my mom started getting cooler than me when I was in EIGHTH GRADE, first with a nose ring, then some tattoos, then a NIPPLE RING, and a cartilage piercing, more tattoos (she has more than I do :/) and some nipple shields for her piercing. Inked and pierced moms are AWESOME!!

And I would lick your Dean tattoo, also, the next time I see you in person. IT IS SO FUCKING SEXY.

[meesasometimes.livejournal.com]

LOL I got my nose pierced in the 80's and my first tattoo as soon as I was legal. Abe was born into it, he just didn't stand a chance. He thinks the fact that he has two Moms is burden enough, do I have to really lay more on him? :P Poor child.

I will make sure he is primed and ready for the lickfest! I'll lube him up with cherry.

[meesasometimes.livejournal.com]

is he not just adorable! I am in alittle puppy love.

the tattoo is already a ridiculous distraction is so many good ways...I've learned to use whatever means neccessary when it comes to pain management. Life is just too short.