If I see Jensen in the 7-11, I will write an ode to his freckles, fold it into a paper airplane

My 12 yr old Golden Retriever, whose favorite hobbies are watching tv and napping, just took off running down my icy deathtrap of a driveway, galloping full speed ahead like a dumb carefree puppy, 3/4 of a mile down our winding twisting deathtrap of a road...all the while ignoring my calls (it's possible he gave me the finger), almost getting hit by TWO cars and then veering off into the woods. OH,  I meant to say DEATHTRAP of a woods, as it's hunting season here and he looks like a white-tailed deer jaunting about down by the stream, which is where he headed to go for a SWIM!!!!! WTF???? It's like 30 degrees here and there's snow on the ground and the stream water's high and there are rapids and it's FREAKING WINTER! 

And I'm chasing after him in my pj's and crocs and he's just stupidly smiling at me and I a little want to kill him...also I can't feel my fingers all the way yet.