If I see Jensen in the 7-11, I will write an ode to his freckles, fold it into a paper airplane

Today marks 4 years since the death of my mother. I think it would be fair to say we were a bit codependant, we spoke daily on the phone sometimes for hours at a time, watching tv shows together, seeing what the other was eating for lunch, a check in call everytime I return from being out. EVERYDAY since I left college 25 years ago. The quiet in my life was the hardest part, the phone never ringing, my days turning a waiting game, while I waited for my son and my spouse to come home.

I have a point here and it's a good one. The Supernatural DVD's became my background noise and my happy place and it led me to fandom and eventually here to lj. And it filled that big quiet empty hole that I had in all the most wonderful and surprising ways. It saved me from that abyss, sounds dramatic, but I love that the ladies of "The View" aren't my besties anymore and my dog doesn't know the afternoon talk show lineup. It just means everything to me...this little lj world that no one who isn't in it understands.

When people ask or comment about my Dean Winchester tattoo, this is what I really think about. I may say he's my bad-ass tv boyfriend and he fucking saved the world from the appocolypse. GOOGLE it! But it's much more than that, it's about finding something so "sparkling" and wonderful to me when I felt like I had lost so much, and what a surprise that life is...it's just so happy making.

I done, I'm crying now....here are some pics.

On a lighter note, I came across this pic of me, that's my grandpa in the back with his bow legs :)



christmas maybe 1985...I'm trying to judge by my hair :)


My mom and I...1972