meesasometimes | (no subject)

Today marks 4 years since the death of my mother. I think it would be fair to say we were a bit codependant, we spoke daily on the phone sometimes for hours at a time, watching tv shows together, seeing what the other was eating for lunch, a check in call everytime I return from being out. EVERYDAY since I left college 25 years ago. The quiet in my life was the hardest part, the phone never ringing, my days turning a waiting game, while I waited for my son and my spouse to come home.

I have a point here and it's a good one. The Supernatural DVD's became my background noise and my happy place and it led me to fandom and eventually here to lj. And it filled that big quiet empty hole that I had in all the most wonderful and surprising ways. It saved me from that abyss, sounds dramatic, but I love that the ladies of "The View" aren't my besties anymore and my dog doesn't know the afternoon talk show lineup. It just means everything to me...this little lj world that no one who isn't in it understands.

When people ask or comment about my Dean Winchester tattoo, this is what I really think about. I may say he's my bad-ass tv boyfriend and he fucking saved the world from the appocolypse. GOOGLE it! But it's much more than that, it's about finding something so "sparkling" and wonderful to me when I felt like I had lost so much, and what a surprise that life is...it's just so happy making.

I done, I'm crying now....here are some pics.

On a lighter note, I came across this pic of me, that's my grandpa in the back with his bow legs :)

christmas maybe 1985...I'm trying to judge by my hair :)

My mom and I...1972

Threaded | Flat

Oh honey *hugs you super tight* I love the pics of you and your mama.♥ Mine passed away 6 years ago and we were pretty much like you and yours, I still miss her every single day. LJ means the world to me too and everybody in it and I've just stopped trying to explain that to RL folks, I guess Annelise and the bf are the only ones that truly understand. I feel blessed to have you on my flist, you're absolutely wonderful and my complete and utter Dean Winchester brain twin! :D ♥

I'm so sorry, BB. My biggest condolences to you. I've never experienced a loss so profound, but I can imagine its something you'll always feel. So, just *huuugs*

Also, though, yay for this fandom and the friends it has gave us, right. I'm so happy for you that you found it, I'm so happy I found it, I'm so happy we found each other and everyone and everything else we've found. It is a wonderful place. And while today is an awful day for you, congrats for remembering the good things.

Gorgeous pics as well! <3

2,000% I get it-I understand exactly. It doesn't make sense to anyone not in the LJ network. And it's ours, all ours! That we get nervous when LJ goes down or is under attack. *G* I needs mah LJ and flisties! In March of this coming year marks the 11th year that we lost my mom. I still have a huge hole in my heart-I miss her so much it hurts. She was my mom but she was always my best friend too. Like you we talked on the phone alot, and if I had news good or bad-she was the first one to tell it to, talk it over. I still find myself doing that-then remembering she's gone now. That hurts me the most. Aww damn it, not I'm crying too!
*Glomps*

Aww, I'm so sorry about your mom. The photos are lovely. I totally get what you mean about SPN, LJ and the boys. It's become such a huge part of my life and I can't really explain it to anyone (except my husband). I'm glad it helped you get through that time in your life.